Category Archives: Vince Carter

I Hate the Roc Boys

The story of the CDR experience: So Close

Wow. What a couple days. First the JOdeal and now this. After hopelessly abandoning the 17 due to the supposed futility of landing Rush or CDR, the lengthy Junior from Memphis nearly falls to us at 41only to be robbed at 40 by the villainous rebuilders, the New Jersey Nets. Shit, that would have been delicious. I can’t wait till Bosh’s personality lands us LeBron in the summer of 10, you fucking marsh dwellers.

While nearly pulling the screen from my laptop in anticipation of CDR’s Raptoring, I couldn’t help spewing trade scenarios in order to ensure his arrival. Though my original offer of Joey Graham and the 41 was rejected by 10 seconds of rational thought, Ibegan to construe more realistic deals. Would Jamario be enough to land CDR? Would that be a worthy swap? I think so.

After watching Rajon Rondo in the NBA Finals, I couldn’t help but notice the similarities to the Eclipse. At times, they’re both defensive game-changers who can swing momentum with a steal or a riveting drive to the cup. But the majority of the time, they’re offensive liabilities who allow their mark to roam the post and harass their All-World teammates.

Unlike Appolo 33, CDR would’ve kept em honest and I was desperately calling out for some BC intervention. But no dice. CDR’s career will soon be stagnant under the indifferent tutelage of rent-a-player Vince Carter (seriously, two years you piece of shit. Two years and you’re done) and we’re still stuck with the worst starting 3 in the Association. Damn. At least we got the Australian guy whose weaknesses include, according to the fantastic Draft Express, being “relatively unknown”. Exciting.

Side: My willingness to part with the Moon is partially unfair. I just really wanted some CDR.  

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Filed under Chris Douglas-Roberts, Jamario Moon, NBA Draft, New Jersey Nets, Toronto Raptors, Vince Carter

Ha! I know RJ better than he knows Himself. And hes a Douche

Update from yesterday’s post on RJ’s death grip. Supposedly he really DIDyell “Don’t you know who I am?” at the poor Midwestern boy, who turned out to be from South Dakota, which I think makes him more strangleable? What I don’t understand is why RJ would leave VC’s bday party, which is why they were at the bar, to go hang out with a group of anonymous South Dakotans. Is VC’s game as sporadic off the court as on? Did the South Dakotans have hotter ladies in their posse? Is bar etiquette taught in South Dakotan public schools? I need answers. 

But seriously, RJ is a massive douchebag. I don’t see how yelling “Don’t you know who I am?” works in someone’s favor. How many times has this line initiated recognition in the history of man? Like 6. Plus RJ, you’re the third most recognizable face on your NBA team. From New Jersey. And you were in MINNESOTA. Did you notice every TV in the bar was showing high school hockey highlights? What an ass. I will now relegate him from VC’s sidekick to Bostjan Nachbars’.

Link via The Big Lead

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Filed under NBA, Richard Jefferson, Vince Carter

Jefferson Secures Career as VC’s Sidekick

Jeff wishes VC was a psychotic manifestation. Sorry sir. 

Coming from the WWL, Richard Jefferson has been charged for crashing a ‘Sotan’s birthday. After breaching the VIP area in a Minnesota club, Jefferson was asked to leave by the birthday boy. Finding this request unreasonable, or possibly mishearing him through his tiny ears, Jefferson latched on to the man’s neck while presumably screaming the catchphrase of self-involved douchebags the world over, “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!” (no actual proof of any such utterance)

Such behavior clearly makes Jefferson deservant of becoming VC’s sidekick for life, and also untradeable, which is somewhat of a shame, because a Raps-Nets trade may have been feasible. AP-Rasho package for the Jeff could have been a miniscule upgrade and allowed BC to package TJ-1st for some more help. Now Jeffs probably as undealable as the effortless himself. Poor Jay-Z. Two untradeable contracts that will haunt him for the next 4 years.

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Filed under Basketball, NBA, Richard Jefferson, Toronto Raptors, Vince Carter