Category Archives: Roy Halladay

A Royal O’Doyling

Wow, that is some poetic schlock right there. This afternoon the Jays commemorated their return to the airwaves by mangling KC 6-0. Jesse Litsch was brilliant, throwing a complete game shutout and extending his IP w/o a walk streak to 32? innings, a record-breaking feat (props to Pat Tabler for sharing such info, though he obviously deserves none) B-Wilks became the 2ndJay in as many weeks (!!) to hit a first inning grandslam. Crazy stat; when the Jays hit a first inning grandslam, they are currently 2-0. GrandSlams = Victories. Tomorrow, McGowan takes the mound. Hopefully the power of the Cycle of Litsch will propel the struggling prodigy to a W.

Otherness, brought to you by the Jays’ announcing team, who lended some populist legitimacy to the Cycle of Litsch, pointing out Litsch’s last W kick started the Jays’ current run. While this would be apparent to anyone dedicated enough to check a schedule, when delivered by the grisled Pat Tabler, the Cycle is infused with a lil’ ol’ time respactibility.

Lyle Overbay, the one of the Limp Bizkit fandom, has quite the streak going. Lyle has now reached base in 11 straight ABs. 11 straight!! The new hotness (yes…) has seen his OBP launch to a special .402, tops for the Jays.

Jesse “O’Doyle” Litsch completed his game in an economical 103, or one less pitch than the Doc did last nite. He also became the Jays’ leader in wins with 6, or one more than the Doc. Am I the only one who feels the rotation began today?

The Jays are now over .500, currently sitting pretty with a 26-25 record. The last time the Jays were over .500 was April 20, when they were 10-9. Yeee…

Tomorrow marks the beginning of a new era. Either the Jays’ fall off the wagon, blow the sweep, andgo back to .500 or they embark on an epic trip to the top of the AL East behind the new leaders (IMO), Lyle Overbay and Scotty Roles. I’m excited. Hopefully the douchebags over at Rogers will spare us the pre-game Memorial Cup coverage and recognize the importance. Fingers crossed. Tomorrow’s starters are McGowan and the bizarro Jay, Gil Meche.

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Filed under AL East, Baseball, Dustin McGowan, Jesse Litsch, Kansas City Royals, Major League Baseball, Roy Halladay, Scott Rolen, Toronto Blue Jays

Darts eh?

Fistpump. Beej!!, Doc, and Marcum all contributed tonite, which could be the last time we see that until Playoffs. Ya Playoffs.

The Sportsnet keeps fucking me over with infuriating consistency. Whenver I’m pumped to watch some Jays’ ball, some imcompetent Sportsnet producer feels the need to deny me what I need. Today, a few rain delays caused the lazy, wasteful assholes running the shittiest Sports network in Canada to abandon any further broadcasting. In the place of the Jays: Darts! While darts can be entertaining in the right situation (weekday afternoons or drunken boredom, or a combo) due to the brilliant announcers (One Hundred and Eigggghttty!! Words don’t do it justice. The cigarette laced growls are symphonic), Sunday afternoons were invented for some ball. What made this shit even worse was the fact Sportsnet could have shown us some Jays’ action but were too fuckin lazy to broadcast it nationwide. Instead they instructed us to tune into Sportsnet East and for some fucked reason I only get Ontario, Pacific, and West. Brutal.

At least the Jays took the series though and continued their streak of clutchness by knocking in all of their runs in two outs situations. The Lyle entered the game to little expectations and defied everyone who lost faith by hitting a three run jack in the 5th. Nice. The others were knocked in by Shannon and Rod, the discarded vets of old, who could probably be mistaken for a nice suburban pair to the uneducated.

Otherness Dedicated to the shitty Philly weather, whose brutal timing forced Gibbs to waste the arms of our two aces, Marcum and Doc. I have no idea what this will mean for the future rotation. Whose going on Tuesday now? Please do not subject us to more Purcey. Give Brett Cecil a shot. Or Ricky Romero. Or the mysterious Cuban guy.

Beej!! once again made the 9th interesting for casual fans and horrifying for diehard Jays’ supporters by allowing a solo jack to Pat Burrell.  One spotless 9th Beej!! or I will so stop referring to you with exclamation points. Aaah, thatll never happen. No one can talk about the Beej!! without yelling.

For the second time this week (or more, I’m too lazy to research this assertion) the Jays were outhit but still managed to win due to their collective clutchness. The Phillies outhit the Jays 13-6. How awesome is that? I like being able to question the manhood of other teams. Its pretty foreign. Even sweeter was the fact that greasy fuck Werth was one of the castrated by Jays’ pitching.



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Filed under B.J. Ryan, Baseball, Major League Baseball, Rod Barajas, Roy Halladay, Shannon Stewart, Shawn Marcum, Toronto Blue Jays

Canuck Showdown in the Twin Cities!!!

Big Matt celebrates his 1st Inning Grand Slam. Morneau was unable to replicate his success and therefore was ignored by Jay Onrait

Last nite saw the Jays defeat the Twins 6-5 behind a 1st inning Grand Slam from Matty Stairs. The Birthday Boy (Halladay for you inconsiderates) pitched poorly for the Doc (6.2 IP, 9 Hits, 4 ER, and 8 Ks) but still earned the W due to some decent relieving.

It was a motherfucking holdfest up in the HHH. For the second straight game at least 3 Jays’ relievers earned the magical H. And for the second straight game the only reliever who failed to earn the H was Jesse Carlson, whos apparently useless against Justin Morneau. The Canadian rocked him for a triple in Game 1 and a Jack in Game 2. After both ABs, Jesse was pulled.

Morneau once again fed off his fellow Canuck’s success by matching Matty’s Grand Slam with a Jack off his own personal Manny DelCarmen, Jesse Carlson. Or is it the other way around? Regardless I wish there were more Canucks in the league. We would be looking at years of potential MVPs considering the performance enhancement involved with clashing Canadians. I don’t know what this means. I guess theres only so much Sportscentre time dedicated to baseball highlights so the Canadians feel the need to outperform their countryman to secure airtime. Fucking hockey.

Otherness, today dedicated to Gregg Zaun and his phenomenal 1B coverage. In the hyperbolic tone of Joe Buck calling that Derek Jeter play, “A CATCHER HAS NO BUSINESS BEING IN THAT POSITION!!” If Zaun wasn’t a mediocre catcher who was busted for steroid abuse, he would be getting national attention (I’m talking American attention. There was an NHL playoff game last nite). At least Jamie Campbell was impressed.

The victim of Zaun’s genius was Toronto’s new whipping boy, Delmon Young, who idiotically rounded 1st and got gunned down by Wilks. Hes looked absolutely foolish this series. 5 tools my ass. Last nite Kevin Mench tagged up ON A LINE DRIVE TO LEFT FIELD!!! ON A SUPPOSED STUD!! KEVIN MENCH!!

The Jays’ were outhit 11-6 and still won. Pretty cool.

Gomez continued his amazing display in CF by making an unbelievable cutoff on a Scott Rolen 8th inning double. IMO, it rivalled any legitimate OF catch I’ve seen this season. Incredible talent.

Scotty Roles once again displayed magical plate discipline by taking 29 pitches in his 4 ABs. Add this to the 33 he took the night before and he has seen 62 pitches this series. In 9 ABs. Almost 7 pitches/AB. Fucking awesome.

Despite showing some sweet discipline at the dish, Rolen may have been involved in the worst steal attempt in baseball history. Luckily he was saved by the incompetent Jesse Crain, whose errant throw allowed Rolen to score the eventual game winning run. Apparently, Canadian Inspiration does not apply to Mr. Crain.

Scotty Downs got his 5th save of the season or the equivalent of the Beej!! total. Weird. And even weirder was the efficiency he displayed locking down the W. Even Beej!! hasn’t got a spotless save.


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Filed under B.J. Ryan, Baseball, canada, Carlos Gomez, Delmon Young, Jesse Carlson, Justin Morneau, Major League Baseball, Matty Stairs, Roy Halladay, Scott Rolen, Scotty Downs, Toronto Blue Jays


Tonite the Jesse Litsch Cycle continued. Its now as reliable as gravity or Doc Halladay. Not only did the success rate skyrocket to 83.3%, but it also neared its goal (yes, contrived theorems have goals) of being accepted by the sabermetric community (ya know with all that sample size shit) 10 is a decent sample size right? Were at least guaranteed 50% then. Yessss…. Meanderings in the guise of analysis will come tomorrow.

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Filed under Jesse Litsch, Roy Halladay, Toronto Blue Jays