Category Archives: New Orleans Hornets

Raptors’ Related Thoughts on the James Posey Deal

First of all, the New Orleans Hornets are supposedly now the favorites to win the 2009 NBA Championship. To justify this certain people have turned to voodoo math, making the point that the last two teams with James Posey as their 4th best player have won the Title*. But this argument is flawed**. Posey is the Hornets’ 5th Best player***. By the smallest of margins, Tyson Chandler is the Hornets’ 4th best player. Considering the rebounding, shot-blocking, paint presence, energy, and, most importantly, unfulfilled desire for victory**** TC provides, no one can tell me Posey is “better”. Granted, he is a bad motherfucker.

Anyways, I couldn’t help, mostly out of jealousy and/or rage, examining the signing through the ever-present Raptors’ venom hole. Let’s see: 25 Million over 4 years, eh? That sounds eerily familiar (and the eventual revelation is damn-near fatal) Oh wait, we’ve got Jason Kapono for 24 Million over 4 years. Sweeeet. At least our investment will return more Individual Awards. At least were playing A game the Herm way. 

Adding to the swingman similarities and Raptors’ connections, Morris Peterson’s making 23 Million over 4 years. Poor Mo Pete. Going from desired to discarded in 1 year must suck. Where is he now on the SG/SF Depth Chart? Best case 3rd, possibly 5th (behind Peja, Posey, and youngsters Wright and Butler) I mean, he’s basically a defensively inferior Posey. Plus, now that they have a proven Clutcher, his 3-point prowess will probably be neglected come Playoff Time. Seriously, there’s no hope of him playing meaningful Playoff minutes without a catastrophic mishandling of Peja’s Eurobeard. Will he even be in the Playoff Rotation? Too early to say, but I’m leaning towards no (I say Paul, Pargo, Posey, Peja, Wright, West, Chandler, Ely and maybe Mayo MySpace Friend, Hilton Armstrong)

I don’t know whose patience should be questioned more, or who’s GM is Osying most. While swapping Posey for Kapono would certainly secure an East Finals’ appearance in 09, and thus making BC’s lack of patience worthy of fanbase rage, NO did pay 2 Million dollars less for a homeless man’s James Posey only to sign James Posey upon realizing their mistake. But then again, they do have James Posey. Hmmmm…tough.

*This in turn making a 2009 NBA Title for the Hornets relatively plausible

**And not just for the absurdly subjective precedent it relies upon. Return to the top for more!!!

***This in turn clearly, obviously, certainly, securing the 2009 NBA Title for the Hornets

****Let’s be realistic here; killing yourself to win YOUR SECOND RING for transcendent veterans like KG, the Truth, and Mr. Shuttlesworth is MUCH easier than killing yourself, for YOUR THIRD RING mind you, for a 3rd year pup like CP3. I’m now tapering the astronomical expectations***** I initially felt for the 09 Hornets. We’ll have to see how driven the Pose is. Though, I honestly cannot see him matching his INSPIRED 08 performance.

*****I’m talking dynasty-type delusions, if only to maintain a semblance of a cohesive argument. Cheers.

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Filed under James Posey, Jason Kapono, Morris Peterson, New Orleans Hornets, Toronto Raptors, Tyson Chandler

Pargo saves the Spurs from Infamy

D-West!! Where ya been friend?

Last nite the Spurs pulled off a truly unbelievable victory over the Hornets, 92-81, in the seventh game of their Western Semi-Final Series. Despite shooting 22% in the 4th quarter. Despite turning the ball over 6 more times than the Hornets (14-6) Despite seeing Manu and Tim miss all 10 of their 4th quarter FGAs.

TP knocking down the dagger

In the 4th quarter last nite, the Spurs were garbage. This clutch bullshit the media is spouting today is absolutely killing me. While I’ll admit that Tony Parker played beautifully, hitting 3 out of 5 4thquarter attempts, including the dagger with 50 seconds left, Duncan and Ginobili were shit. They’re absolutely blessed to escape to the Western Finals.

And why? I can’t even blame it on a single person. It wouldn’t be fair because the whole team displayed an aversion to shoot. Except Jannero Pargo. Who shot the ball 13 times in the 4th quarter. And hit 5. And was somehow allowed to continue. Even worse than Pargo’s bonanza was the complete disappearance of the Hornet’s stars, Paul and West, who shot the ball a combined 6 times in the 4th quarter. So the Hornets 6th man shot the ball twice as many times as the combined total of the Hornets stars. Wow. Sorry for the repetition but that is just incredible. Who is to blame for such an insane discrepancy? Paul and West themselves? Byron Scott for allowing it to continue? or Pargo for going batshit on the rim? Horrible.

I’m going to have to blame West and Paul for the loss. I’d actually commend Pargo for being aggressive. Paul appeared to want no part in the game and allowed Pargo to continue his streak. West was completely absent in the 4th. His one basket occurred in the last 30 seconds when the game was out of reach.

Another Hornet absent last nite was Peja, whose absences and attendance appeared to be the main factor in the series. In the 3 Hornets’ victories, Peja was 20-36 from the field and 8-13 from 3 for 56 points. In the Hornets’ 4 losses, Peja was 13-37 from the field and 3-10 from 3 for 34 points. Tale of two Pejas.

Now that my surrogate team has been eliminated, the Western Finals are dead to me. I honestly don’t care what happens in that series, though I wouldn’t be averse to seeing the Lakers win, if only the Celtics also won, so the inevitable Boston victory would be over the Rocky Terrorizer. As long as Kobe loses.


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Filed under Basketball, Chris Paul, David West, NBA, New Orleans Hornets, San Antonio Spurs, Tyson Chandler

Flawed Stars Duel in Game 7

Pierce after forcing up 40, forced out some emotion.  When was the last time jumping intensity intimidated anyone? Has that even been done before?

This afternoon, the Boston Celtics defeated the Cleveland Cavaliers 97-92 in Game 7 of their Eastern Semifinals. The victory ensured the Detroit-Boston Final everyone was hoping for (seriously, I doubt a repeat of the Cavs-Pistons showdown would ever live up to its predecessor. Plus, who would you cheer for? LeBron may be the most unlikeable transcendent talent of all-time and the Pistons are arrogant pricks who have improved little since their breakthrough six years ago) behind a phenomenal game from Paul Pierce, who scored 41 points, which amazingly wasn’t enough to be the game’s top scorer. The “Global Icon” dropped 45 points on the Cs, which must have had the fanbase horrified for the duration. I seriously doubted Pierce’s ability to keep draining shots, but surprisingly, he kept it up the whole game. On the other hand, I had full confidence in LeBron’s clutchness, considering the way he single-handidly destroyed the Pistons last year. Yet the epitome of the one man team could not defeat the epitome of a team.

The “Icon” pissing and moaning

IMO, LeBron is the most unlikeable star in the NBA. While others may have legal problems or whatnot, they at least acknowledge their teammates. They at least keep their arrogance in check. LeBron displays no ironic self-awareness while referring to himself in third-person. He interacts more with the opposing team’s crowd then he does with his teammates. For instance, on multiple occasions in Game 7, Delonte West turned the ball over on passes intended for LeBron. Instead of giving him a pat on the behind or an encouraging word, the asshole felt the best way to be a good teammate was to completely ignore him and sneer like a tantruming child. It was fucking infuriating.  

As for the other star SF, Paul Pierce is also, unfortunately, flawed. I’m not taking anything away from his game, which was phenomenal, but he seems to regress into old habits developed on shitty teams. He seemed completely fixated on besting LeBron. While it certainly worked today, shit like that is retarded when your team is built around unselfish play. Plus, his “intensity” appears completely forced and contrived, almost like an imitation of KG. His outbursts of emotion are nearly as embarrassing as Tom Bradys’ or Chris Boshs’. I had to change the channel whenever he started howling. (Paul, for a reminder of true emotion, see Eddie House and James Posey in the 2nd quarter after House ran the length of the floor to save a loose ball. That shit gave me goosebumps) Pierce’s “emotional outbursts” may have me so ashamed because they usually occur on his own. Like LeBron and countless other athletes who prefer to celebrate alone, Pierce constantly seems to separate himself from his teammates after a big play. I honestly don’t get this. Who the fuck are they yelling at?

Another thing that worries me about Pierce’s position on the Cs is the way he celebrated near the end of the game. Most concerning was the way he smiled after that first free throw near the end of the game. Sure, their was 8 seconds left in the game. Sure, the Cs had a 4 point lead that would soon be extended to 5. Sure, it was a funny bounce. But fuck Pierce, save the smiling for the locker room, you ass. Everyone else on your team saw the bounce but didn’t feel the need to chuckle. It felt so fucking contrived on Pierce’s part, like he knew it would be the defining moment of his playoff career and he wanted to appear confident enough to laugh in crunch time. Everything he does seems forced, like hes the NBA’s Dexter or something. 

KG certainly wasn’t laughing (KG has officially become the benchmark for comparing NBA players) After the game, KG solemnly walked to the locker room, while Pierce yucked it up with the sideline reporters, a shit eating grin pasted on his face for the duration. You realize the playoffs are only half over Pierce? You realize you play in two days? Sure it may be the peak of your career, but no one gives a shit about your defining game unless it leads to something meaningful. Like a Championship.

This worries me. There needs to be a “good” side in the NBA Finals and right now there are only two “good” teams alive: New Orleans and Boston. Right now, there is a 66.6% chance (holy shit) the West will be repped by an “evil” team (Top Reasons for “Evil” Label: #1. Led by Rapist #472. Team full of prissy, unlikable Internationals #596. Team peaked 6 years ago. Popularity peaked 7 years ago) and a 50% chance of “Evil” coming from the East. Everything about the Cs are likable except for Pierce, which is alrite considering he will little credit for success and the majority of the blame for failure. Whatever, go New Orleans.


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Filed under Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Detroit Pistons, Dexter, Kevin Garnett, Lebron James, NBA, New Orleans Hornets, Paul Pierce, San Antonio Spurs

Scheduling Mayhem

Today I’m a little pissed about the scheduling practices of both the NBA and Sportsnet. Last nite I was robbed, for the second straight day, of some Jays’ baseball because of somebody’s (I have no idea who) fondness for the Memorial Cup. The fucking Memorial Cup! The most goddamn regionally appealing oversight of all time. I know the 4 teams are supposed to “represent” the regions their based in but who are we kidding, no one gives a fuck about Junior hockey unless they live in the team’s homebase. It’s a glorified high school hockey tournament. And the four teams justifying the Jays’ removal from the airwaves: the Belleville Bulls (population of 49000), the Gatineau Olympiques (242000, allrite, legit) the Kitchener Rangers (204000) and wait for it, the fucking Spokane Chiefs (I won’t even give the population since this particular “Canadian” franchise is located in Washington)

What genius dreamed up the fallacy of demand for Junior Hockey in Washington State. I hope they realize that even Gary Fucking Bettman wasn’t retarded enough to expand into that market. The Pacific Northwest has ZERO NHL franchises. Seriously.

The NHL Franchises. I guess the WHL commish hasn’t seen it.

Anyways I’m getting off topic. In short, Fuck the Memorial Cup Sportsnet. If you must broadcast that shit, do so in the Canadian Shield. Ontario doesn’t give a fuck.

Though not as personally insulting, the NBA’s scheduling practices are certainly fucked. Though the NO-SA Game 6 was on Thursday nite, they won’t be playing until Monday. Making this all the more bizarre is the fact BOS-CLE played last nite and will play on Sunday. What the shit? Three days rest for the Southern ballers but the Seaboard’s finest (and the Midwestern Jesus Shuttlesworth. Bad reference) only get one. How is that possibly fair Stern? What the hell are you trying to manufacture here?

THEOREM TIME! WOO! After doing some half-assed research I have found that…there is little correlation between certain time off and Stern’s desired result, which I assume would be New Orleans and Boston victories since no one’s excited about the possiblity of a repeat SA-CLE series. Besides no theory of mine could counter the homecourt advantage revolution of this year’s playoffs. Anyways, here’s some numbers I futilely looked up.


-100.6 Points/Game Total  –  100.2 Points/Game with 1 days rest
-47.5 FG% Total  –  47.5 FG% with 1 days rest
-22.4 Assists/Game Total  –  22.7 Assists/Game with 1 days rest
-14.4 TOs/Game  –  14.3 TOs/Game with 1 days rest

-96.4 Points/Game Total  –  95.0 Points/Game with 1 days rest
-43.9 FG% Total  –  43.1% FG% with 1 days rest
-20 Assists/Game Total  –  20.4 Assists/Game with 1 days rest
-13.2 TOs/Game Total  –  12.5 TOs/Game with 1 days rest               


-92.3 Points/Game with 3 days rest  –  95.4 Points/Game Total
-21.5 Assists/Game with 3 days rest  –  21.0 Assists/Game Total
-45.5 FG% with 3 days rest  –  45.7 FG % Total
-13.3 TOs/Game with 3 days rest  –  12.0 TOs/Game Total

-96.0 Points/Game with 3 days rest  –  100.9 Points/Game Total
-19.1 Assists/Game with 3 days rest  –  21.8 Assists/Game Total
-46.2 FG% with 3 days rest  –  46.6 FG% Total                                    
-13.4 TOs/Game with 3 days rest  –  11.3 TOs/Game Total                                           




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Filed under Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Major League Baseball, Memorial Cup, New Orleans Hornets, San Antonio Spurs, Toronto Blue Jays

Hornets push Champs around in NO

Thanks to Odenized for the clip

Last nite the New Orleans Hornets went up 2-0 on the defending champion San Antonio Spurs with a 102-84 spanking. Despite being up at halftime, albeit one point, the Spurs had no answer for the trio of CP3, Peja, and Mo Pete in the third, who combined to score 30 of the Hornets 36 third quarter points. CP3 and Peja were like MJ and Paul, scoring 30 and 25.

The Double TeaBag!!

Although the Hornets are confident and brash punks with little respect for the incumbent Spurs, for some reason I find myself rooting for them most when they’re at their “worst”. When assholes, like everyone on the Nuggets roster (or TJ) start chest-thumping, I want to punch them in the balls but when guys like T-Chands and West pick on Oberto, I’m nothing less than delighted.  Why is this? Its because the Hornets play the game right. They don’t take plays off or quit on their teammates and actually exert effort on the defensive end, as shown by the Spurs 28 TOs to New Orleans 15. When West chirps the greasy Oberto, its not for the sake of douchebaggery but because his unbridled enthusiasm for victory gets the best of him. When T-Chands sticks his crotch in Duncan’s face while hanging from the rim, I get excited. Not because 7 foot man love gets me jolly, but because I know T-Chand’s defensive intensity will counter any of Duncan’s illwill for the T-Bag.  When assholes like JR Smith, Carmelo, or TJ start strutting after a dunk or something, it fucking pisses me off because in ten seconds, they’re defensive indifference will reveal itself and the guys that torch them won’t act like an ass. In short, if you’re going to chest thump and intimidate, make sure you can hold your own on both ends of the floor.

Douchebaggery Justification

Alright now that I have revealed why the Hornets are my Western fave, check out these figahs. In Games 1 and 2, the Spurs took 31 and 27 three point shots, accounting for 44% and 37% of their total FGs attempted in each game. This is an incredible increase from the regular season when they shot 19 3P/Game, which only accounted for 25% of their total FGA. What does this indicate? The Hornets interior defense is fucking money. Instead of allowing Duncan to take his usual 18% of San Antonio FGs, the Hornets swarming double-teams have held him to 13% of San Antonio’s FGs thus far. Replacing these high-probablity shots have been kick-out threes, which the perimeter Hornets have consistently contested. Bodes well for some sweeping and showdown to reveal the true MVP.

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Filed under Basketball, Chris Paul, David West, NBA, New Orleans Hornets, Tyson Chandler

Hitching Some

Now that the Raps’ pathetic fall has commenced, I’m looking for a new team to hitch my ever so important allegiances to. Heres my breakdown: Boston doesn’t need any more bandwagon fans, cheering for San Antonio or Detroit would be like cheering for your friend’s deceased Third Uncle, cheering for Orlando would be blasphemous, polygamy infuriates me so Utah is out, the Lakers feature a rapist, and King James is too arrogant and probably wouldn’t remember me when he conquers the globe so I’m going with the New Orleans Hornets. Not only does their star share a similar nickname with my beloved Raps (which I’m curious to know who owned first) but they also have the most potential to launch JO, Artest-Beer Guy, Turtle II. If Dirk Nowitzki hadn’t grown accustomed to Josh Howard’s stoned gropes, it might have kicked off last round. If they play Ronny Turiaf next round, it is a damn near certainty West or Chandler will get into it with him. Plus its incredibly easy to cheer against the Spurs, which I have decided may be the most hated winning team of all time. Seriously name another.

Besides their ability to horrify Stern with their violent potential, they also have 4 guys on their team that are incredibly unique players. To start with the least important, Julian Wright may be the longest human being I’ve ever seen. David West is unbelievably strong and is able to bang down low AND drain the mid-range Js with indredible consitentcy. Last nite, his diverse arsenal was on full display as he banged down low in the first half and was shooting Js in the 2nd. T-Chands is one of the most intense players I’ve seen play and his offensive rebounding abilities are tops in the Association. But none of these guys compare to the genious that is CP3. In the 4th quarter last nite, CP3 decided it was time to end the fucking geriatric Spurs run and took it to the rim at will. Though he didn’t hit every layup, which would have sent the crowd into a tizzy, he consitently drew contact. He made it look easy.

Though the Hornets got some special young talent leading them, I do have some concerns. They sometimes take bad shots early in the shot clock and make reckless passes in search of the highlight reel. Despite their flaws, these boys want it. Bad. After Bowen made the mistake of bumping into CP3, he made him look foolish the next time down the floor with some creative dribbling. The Hornets are not intimidated by the Spurs’ history. This series is going to be great.

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Filed under Basketball, Chris Paul, David West, Dirk Nowitzki, NBA, New Orleans Hornets