Goodbye Good Sir
Today, it was revealed that Primoz Brezec will not be continuing his NBA career*. Roma has poached the 7-foot Slovenian from the Raptors. Damn you Brian Colangelo. Despite your all-league style, all-league offseason deals, and phenomenal tie-knots, your lack of appreciation for the Primoz is truly disappointing. He was the best 12th man our great country has ever seen.
In spite of the immense sense of loss coursing through my veins, Primoz’s departure has provided me an opportunity to reveal the reasoning behind the pseudonym. Considering the small window Raps’ fans had to appreciate the Primoz**, it is a true testament to the man’s awesomeness that I chose to name this blog after the Eastern European Prince. His gregarious charm was immediately apparent to players and fans alike after joining the Raps in a deadline deal. Although I initially knew nothing about the schizophrenic giant, I immediately developed great expectations for the Primoz era. These expectations were surpassed in ways impossible to foresee.
Mr. Brezec, because of the fantastic, and impossibly short-lived Resign Primoz Brezec, tales of your admirable lack of self-awareness were easily available. This is what I learned: although you are a 7-foot white man from Eastern Europe, you did not allow physical or cultural restraints to hinder the pursuit of your ideal lifestyle: Ol’ G. Because of this amazing clash of origins and current life, you will forever be remembered as a beacon of personal choice throughout this great land***.
Mr. Brezec, although your influence was primarily drawn from your breathing example of self-recreation, it does not mean your on-court presence wasn’t appreciated. In fact, for a player with next to no playing time, you made an incredible impression. From your unbelievable rotation of accessories to your inexplicable hatred of opposing mascots, your month of bench duty was the greatest stretch a neglected Raptor ever put forth. Though it was tragically, and amazingly, cut short by a pre-game stretching fiasco, your time in Red will not be forgotten.
Mr. Brezec, despite receiving scant playing time, your presence within our nation not only provided constant entertainment, it also provided a vital message for Canadian youth: Do not allow nationality, race, creed, appearance, or stature dictate the person you wish to become. And because of that I know, This is Not a Goodbye. I eagerly await the inevitable news’ reports regarding the spread of Onyx worship and Long Sleeve Tall Tees in Rome. We will be watching, cheering, and dropping jaws like you were still in the GTA. Best of Luck Mr. Brezec.
Your Indebted Namesake,
**Just 13 Games
***Most likely my property, but possibly elsewhere