Category Archives: Lebron James

Glaceau’s Olympic Ad Policy: Hide the Ink

You mean it works for an accused sex offender!?! Spectacular, Vitamin Water!!* Or powerful enough, ah fuck it.

Today I was browsing through the newest Sports Illustrated, you know, the one declaring 6 Time Olympic Gold Medalist Michael Phelps “On the Verge”, and was lucky enough to happen upon a bizarre two-page ad from Glaceau Vitamin Water featuring Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, and Dwight Howard. After investigating the Ad**, I discovered how spectacularly lazy, and Anti-Tat, Vitamin Water’s Ad Department has become.

After failing to find a digital copy of the print version, I found the picture above, which I immediatelly recognized as the exact picture used in the supposedly “new” SI ad. The only difference: the SI ad’s picture of Kobe is reversed, making his Tat-Heavy*** right arm hidden from the reader’s view****.

Also hidden from view are LBJ’s Upper Arms, making him the only player in the Ad rocking the T. The other, Dwight Howard, is hanging from a floating rim in the background, pious shoulders bare for all to see. So, what up Vitamin Water? What’s with the Tat-abandonment?

*Too dated?

**By investigate, I mean I searched for the pic on Google

***It’s a big Tat, even if it’s only one

****Possibly also hidden from view is Kobe Bryant himself. In the Vitamin Water Ad, he’s rocking a more prominent shnozz and longer hair absent from an SI spread two pages earlier. Looks like Tim Thomas is supplementing.




Filed under Basketball, Dwight Howard, Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Olympics, Vitamin Water

JO to TO? Please BC

The Key to the Treasure Chest of ‘010

Too many acronyms? Who cares, the Raps may soon have the best frontcourt in the Eastern Conference. According to the Indianapolis Star (via the Arsenalist), Jermaine O’Neal could become a member of the Toronto Raptors. And we’d get rid of TJ Ford? Outtttttstanding.

The Star is reporting that a TJ-Rasho-17 package could net the Raps the veteran lefty. Though I am a little tentative to include the 17, if the Pacers demand it, BC should pull the trigger. JO is a defensive force who could instantly improve one of the Raptors’ key weaknesses. Throw in the rebounding help, the guys averaged 8.8 or more 6 of the past 7 seasons*, and this deal is money for the Raps. Although Rasho is an effective, intelligent baller, his exit, like TJ’s, was inevitable considering the attractive combo of his play and expiring contract. Speaking of expiring contracts…

Unlike the many pundits who feel JO’s exorbitant contract is a negative, to me, it’s the most enticing aspect of the deal. I’m shocked more teams aren’t chasing JO. Why? Primarily because JO’s deal ends in 2010, or the year of the greatest free agent class of all time. Here’s the mind-boggling list of 010′ FAs (lifted from Stop Mike Lupica):

Joe Johnson
Ray Allen
Ben Wallace
LeBron James (player option, likely)
Dirk Nowitzki (player option, unlikely)
Josh Howard (player option, likely)
Marcus Camby
Rip Hamilton
Stephen Jackson
Tracy McGrady
Shaquille O’Neal
Dwyane Wade (player option for 10/11, unlikely)
Michael Redd (player option for 10/11, likely)
Tyson Chandler (player option for 10/11 – 50/50)
Eddy Curry (player option for 10/11 – 50/50)
Amare Stoudemire (player option for 10/11, unlikely)
Brad Miller
Manu Ginobili
Chris Bosh (player option for 10/11, unlikely)
How disgusting is that?

Basically, this deal is an experiment that cannot fail. For the next two years, rolling the dice with an injury-plagued JO is much more appealing than extending Teej’s pouting. Best-case scenario, the two lefties dominate the post, allowing countless doublers to be burnt off wide-open threes from AP, Kapones, and Calderon. Worst-case scenario, and it’s pretty bad, JO goes down to injuries and we’re stuck with regular Humph time.  Whatever, the possible reward is worth the risk.

Making the worst-case scenario much more manageable is what would follow. After 2 years, if JO falters, which I admit seems pretty likely, there’ll always be the light at the end of the tunnel that is Manu. Or Rip. Or Lebron. Or Melo. Or D-Wade. Or Redd. Or Captain Jack. Or Dirk. Or Josh Howard.

Honestly, this contract, considering the timing and value of the deal, is the most valuable expiring contract in the Association. Having JO in 2010 guarantees a premier player that summer. Plus, if the Raps’ realize the premier FAs of ‘010 won’t sign with Toronto, they could move JO to a team with a hardon for one of those dudes. What could we get for that contract? Think of the possibilities. If my scenario plays out, as I hope and pray it does, then TJ-Rasho-17 now could, and this is an enormous could, turn into LeBron later. Insane hypothetical, I know, but still within the realm of possibility.  A possibility that makes the 17 an afterthought. Make it happen BC.

*Some nice cherry-pickin’



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Filed under Chris Bosh, Indiana Pacers, Jermaine O'Neal, Lebron James, Manu Ginobili, NBA, TJ Ford, Toronto Raptors, Uncategorized

Flawed Stars Duel in Game 7

Pierce after forcing up 40, forced out some emotion.  When was the last time jumping intensity intimidated anyone? Has that even been done before?

This afternoon, the Boston Celtics defeated the Cleveland Cavaliers 97-92 in Game 7 of their Eastern Semifinals. The victory ensured the Detroit-Boston Final everyone was hoping for (seriously, I doubt a repeat of the Cavs-Pistons showdown would ever live up to its predecessor. Plus, who would you cheer for? LeBron may be the most unlikeable transcendent talent of all-time and the Pistons are arrogant pricks who have improved little since their breakthrough six years ago) behind a phenomenal game from Paul Pierce, who scored 41 points, which amazingly wasn’t enough to be the game’s top scorer. The “Global Icon” dropped 45 points on the Cs, which must have had the fanbase horrified for the duration. I seriously doubted Pierce’s ability to keep draining shots, but surprisingly, he kept it up the whole game. On the other hand, I had full confidence in LeBron’s clutchness, considering the way he single-handidly destroyed the Pistons last year. Yet the epitome of the one man team could not defeat the epitome of a team.

The “Icon” pissing and moaning

IMO, LeBron is the most unlikeable star in the NBA. While others may have legal problems or whatnot, they at least acknowledge their teammates. They at least keep their arrogance in check. LeBron displays no ironic self-awareness while referring to himself in third-person. He interacts more with the opposing team’s crowd then he does with his teammates. For instance, on multiple occasions in Game 7, Delonte West turned the ball over on passes intended for LeBron. Instead of giving him a pat on the behind or an encouraging word, the asshole felt the best way to be a good teammate was to completely ignore him and sneer like a tantruming child. It was fucking infuriating.  

As for the other star SF, Paul Pierce is also, unfortunately, flawed. I’m not taking anything away from his game, which was phenomenal, but he seems to regress into old habits developed on shitty teams. He seemed completely fixated on besting LeBron. While it certainly worked today, shit like that is retarded when your team is built around unselfish play. Plus, his “intensity” appears completely forced and contrived, almost like an imitation of KG. His outbursts of emotion are nearly as embarrassing as Tom Bradys’ or Chris Boshs’. I had to change the channel whenever he started howling. (Paul, for a reminder of true emotion, see Eddie House and James Posey in the 2nd quarter after House ran the length of the floor to save a loose ball. That shit gave me goosebumps) Pierce’s “emotional outbursts” may have me so ashamed because they usually occur on his own. Like LeBron and countless other athletes who prefer to celebrate alone, Pierce constantly seems to separate himself from his teammates after a big play. I honestly don’t get this. Who the fuck are they yelling at?

Another thing that worries me about Pierce’s position on the Cs is the way he celebrated near the end of the game. Most concerning was the way he smiled after that first free throw near the end of the game. Sure, their was 8 seconds left in the game. Sure, the Cs had a 4 point lead that would soon be extended to 5. Sure, it was a funny bounce. But fuck Pierce, save the smiling for the locker room, you ass. Everyone else on your team saw the bounce but didn’t feel the need to chuckle. It felt so fucking contrived on Pierce’s part, like he knew it would be the defining moment of his playoff career and he wanted to appear confident enough to laugh in crunch time. Everything he does seems forced, like hes the NBA’s Dexter or something. 

KG certainly wasn’t laughing (KG has officially become the benchmark for comparing NBA players) After the game, KG solemnly walked to the locker room, while Pierce yucked it up with the sideline reporters, a shit eating grin pasted on his face for the duration. You realize the playoffs are only half over Pierce? You realize you play in two days? Sure it may be the peak of your career, but no one gives a shit about your defining game unless it leads to something meaningful. Like a Championship.

This worries me. There needs to be a “good” side in the NBA Finals and right now there are only two “good” teams alive: New Orleans and Boston. Right now, there is a 66.6% chance (holy shit) the West will be repped by an “evil” team (Top Reasons for “Evil” Label: #1. Led by Rapist #472. Team full of prissy, unlikable Internationals #596. Team peaked 6 years ago. Popularity peaked 7 years ago) and a 50% chance of “Evil” coming from the East. Everything about the Cs are likable except for Pierce, which is alrite considering he will little credit for success and the majority of the blame for failure. Whatever, go New Orleans.


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Filed under Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Detroit Pistons, Dexter, Kevin Garnett, Lebron James, NBA, New Orleans Hornets, Paul Pierce, San Antonio Spurs

Provoking LeBron: Idiotic or Insane?

LeBron is unstoppable. there is no answer in the league to what LeBron brings to the table. guys 6’9 260 and scores at will. give him one reason to torch you and he will make it his goal to embarass. taking that into consideration, after the 1st half of last nite’s game, LeBron only had 6 points. 6!!! while this defensive performance was undoubtedly impressive, i would advise others to learn from Toronto’s mistake; don’t have Kris Humphries on your roster. since humphries thought that LeBron wasn’t aware of his poor performance, he felt obligated to remind him. as the two teams walked to their respective dressin rooms, LeBron was jawing at the deliriously-confident humphries, who had forgotten how awesome he was until he blocked 23’s shot on the Cavs last possession. anyways, the humph’s idiocy led to a pissed James to go off for 23 in the 2nd half. thanks kris. 

when will the Raptors learn; don’t fuck with the King. we have no one who is remotely capable of guarding him yet fringe characters always feel the need to provoke him. first bosh’s girlfriend and now the delusional humph. either BC has to get the team to manuevere their way into the 6th seed or constantly run the attached vid in the Raps locker room.

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Filed under Basketball, Lebron James, Sports, Toronto Raptors