Category Archives: ESPN

Rick Reilly is tired of these Mother F****** Atheists in his Mother F****** Country

“It’s a bad night to be an atheist” – Rick Reilly, July 14, 2008

This particular nugget of arrogance came from the beacon of sports journalism himself after the ESPN announcing team exhausted all reliable descriptions of amazement while Hamilton was punishing the rawhide, leaving the crew to spit Hyperbole like a prompter-less (and retarded) politician.

Yes Rick, all atheists have been following Josh Hamilton, attempting to bring failure and relapse upon him through witchcraft and blasphemy. They’ve put chotch in his coffee and heroin in his fondue. Hamilton voodoo dolls are best-sellers in the underground Atheishops poisoning your community. But now that Mr. Hamilton has broken Derby records, Josh’s relapse will obviously not happen. The tight-knit atheist community has failed. They will now acknowledge the existence of your savior, dwell on the sentimental, and preach to the ignorant.

Reilly’s comment is infuriating for the number of falsities it evokes: 1, Atheists hate Josh Hamilton, 2 Atheists hate Home Runs, 3 Atheists hate believers hitting Home Runs, 4, Atheists LOOOOVE Drugs, 5, Only the pious can kick habits, and finally,  6, Atheists congregate to sabotage the life of Josh Hamilton and every other practicing member of organized religion.

Reilly, unlike Religion, being an atheist is not life-defining. It’s a footnote. To me, it seems like little more than uncomfortable party fodder. No one is proudly claiming to be an Atheist or basing their REAL-LIFE decisions upon their LAW-SUPPORTED choice not to worship or others’ LAW-SUPPORTED choice to. As much as the idiotic Reilly believes, Atheism does not revolve around the systematic sabotage of organized religion.

Whatever. Keep up the hypocrisy. The worst thing about Reilly’s comment is the complete disregard it shows for Hamilton’s family and friends. You know, the earthly presence that guided and supported Hamilton through his recovery. As much as Reilly believes Jesus was the one suffering from Hamilton’s addiction, this is more than likely not the case. Actual people suffered and struggled through the worst and best of Hamilton’s demise and recovery. While it would be fucking awesome if Jesus himself convinced Hamilton to stop doing blow, I kind of doubt he did. His wife, mother, father, brothers, sisters, and friends were paramount during his realization of his problem and the presumed horrendous rehabilitation period that followed. They deserve all the credit in the world* for what Josh Hamilton has achieved these past two seasons. His new-found belief was inspired by their benevolence. Though granted, I’m sure Jesus was giving a big Thumbs Up from his Deluxe Apartment in the Sky**. 

This shit sounds like a WWE call out. Ya I see you Atheists. I see you peddling smack on the corner of the Rangers’ hotel. You know what? Rick Reilly don’t play dat. You know what he’s gonna do? Tell God to rig the Derby. Ya, no Devil-Worshippers winning this Derby, no sir. You know what he’s gonna do then? Rub it in that minuscule sub-culture’s face!!! YAAAAA, and you who’s next on the Reilly’s denouncing list? The Gays!!! OHHH YAAAA.

It’s similar to proclaiming “It’s a bad nite to be a Jew” after Ryan Braun was eliminated or “Fuck You Canucks!!!” after Morneau was pummeled. Leave beliefs, race and nationality out of it. It’s the FUCKING HOME RUN DERBY. Just enjoy it. Don’t use Hamilton’s incredible accomplishment as a soapbox to criticize and divide. Everyone enjoys Home Runs. Everyone respects Redemption. And I hope after Monday night, everyone ignores Rick Reilly.

*Besides Hamilton himself, who should be applauded (a lil’ more, but that’s it) for what he’s accomplished

**Although according to the ESPN crew, Hamilton still does not trust himself enough not to seek out the drugs that ruined his life and travels with a friend who keeps him on the straight and arrow. Mr. Christ, paging Mr. Christ

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Filed under Baseball, ESPN, Josh Hamilton, Major League Baseball, Texas Rangers

ESPN: Gonzalez saves man’s life in restaurant

After waiter inexplicably asks: Gonzalez, why don’t you fucking revive someone out there?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3477130

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Filed under Bill Belichick, ESPN, Kansas City Chiefs, Tony Gonzalez

ESPN hates Federer

Although Nadal’s victory made the headline more prophetic than I once believed, the quickness with which they discredited the greatest player in the Tennis game is bizarre. During the first rain delay of today’s Mens Final, when Nadal was 1 Game away from winning the Championship in 3 sets, the brain-trust at the WWL felt it wise to hitch their buggy to Nadal’s horse. They chose to predict that the rain delay was only “delaying the inevitable”. Since when has victory over Federer been inevitable? Sure he was down 5-4 in the possible deciding set, but hasn’t the man won the last 5 Wimbledon Championships? Doesn’t he deserve the benefit of the doubt? And when did headline writers start offering opinions? Pretty fucked. 

Even fuckeder, was the WWL’s follow-up headline, describing the possibility of a Federer victory as a “dream”. So Federer defeat, inevitable. Federer victory, a dream. Either some copy editor was jonesing for the capri-beater combo of Spain’s favorite son or ESPN was attempting to dissuade the public from tuning in to NBC’s coverage. Either way, the WWL should stick to pseudo-clever puns instead of alienation when it comes to the Main Page.

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Filed under ESPN, Raphael Nadal, Roger Federer, Tennis