D-West!! Where ya been friend?
Last nite the Spurs pulled off a truly unbelievable victory over the Hornets, 92-81, in the seventh game of their Western Semi-Final Series. Despite shooting 22% in the 4th quarter. Despite turning the ball over 6 more times than the Hornets (14-6) Despite seeing Manu and Tim miss all 10 of their 4th quarter FGAs.
TP knocking down the dagger
In the 4th quarter last nite, the Spurs were garbage. This clutch bullshit the media is spouting today is absolutely killing me. While I’ll admit that Tony Parker played beautifully, hitting 3 out of 5 4thquarter attempts, including the dagger with 50 seconds left, Duncan and Ginobili were shit. They’re absolutely blessed to escape to the Western Finals.
And why? I can’t even blame it on a single person. It wouldn’t be fair because the whole team displayed an aversion to shoot. Except Jannero Pargo. Who shot the ball 13 times in the 4th quarter. And hit 5. And was somehow allowed to continue. Even worse than Pargo’s bonanza was the complete disappearance of the Hornet’s stars, Paul and West, who shot the ball a combined 6 times in the 4th quarter. So the Hornets 6th man shot the ball twice as many times as the combined total of the Hornets stars. Wow. Sorry for the repetition but that is just incredible. Who is to blame for such an insane discrepancy? Paul and West themselves? Byron Scott for allowing it to continue? or Pargo for going batshit on the rim? Horrible.
I’m going to have to blame West and Paul for the loss. I’d actually commend Pargo for being aggressive. Paul appeared to want no part in the game and allowed Pargo to continue his streak. West was completely absent in the 4th. His one basket occurred in the last 30 seconds when the game was out of reach.
Another Hornet absent last nite was Peja, whose absences and attendance appeared to be the main factor in the series. In the 3 Hornets’ victories, Peja was 20-36 from the field and 8-13 from 3 for 56 points. In the Hornets’ 4 losses, Peja was 13-37 from the field and 3-10 from 3 for 34 points. Tale of two Pejas.
Now that my surrogate team has been eliminated, the Western Finals are dead to me. I honestly don’t care what happens in that series, though I wouldn’t be averse to seeing the Lakers win, if only the Celtics also won, so the inevitable Boston victory would be over the Rocky Terrorizer. As long as Kobe loses.
Thanks to Odenized for the clip
Last nite the New Orleans Hornets went up 2-0 on the defending champion San Antonio Spurs with a 102-84 spanking. Despite being up at halftime, albeit one point, the Spurs had no answer for the trio of CP3, Peja, and Mo Pete in the third, who combined to score 30 of the Hornets 36 third quarter points. CP3 and Peja were like MJ and Paul, scoring 30 and 25.
The Double TeaBag!!
Although the Hornets are confident and brash punks with little respect for the incumbent Spurs, for some reason I find myself rooting for them most when they’re at their “worst”. When assholes, like everyone on the Nuggets roster (or TJ) start chest-thumping, I want to punch them in the balls but when guys like T-Chands and West pick on Oberto, I’m nothing less than delighted. Why is this? Its because the Hornets play the game right. They don’t take plays off or quit on their teammates and actually exert effort on the defensive end, as shown by the Spurs 28 TOs to New Orleans 15. When West chirps the greasy Oberto, its not for the sake of douchebaggery but because his unbridled enthusiasm for victory gets the best of him. When T-Chands sticks his crotch in Duncan’s face while hanging from the rim, I get excited. Not because 7 foot man love gets me jolly, but because I know T-Chand’s defensive intensity will counter any of Duncan’s illwill for the T-Bag. When assholes like JR Smith, Carmelo, or TJ start strutting after a dunk or something, it fucking pisses me off because in ten seconds, they’re defensive indifference will reveal itself and the guys that torch them won’t act like an ass. In short, if you’re going to chest thump and intimidate, make sure you can hold your own on both ends of the floor.
Alright now that I have revealed why the Hornets are my Western fave, check out these figahs. In Games 1 and 2, the Spurs took 31 and 27 three point shots, accounting for 44% and 37% of their total FGs attempted in each game. This is an incredible increase from the regular season when they shot 19 3P/Game, which only accounted for 25% of their total FGA. What does this indicate? The Hornets interior defense is fucking money. Instead of allowing Duncan to take his usual 18% of San Antonio FGs, the Hornets swarming double-teams have held him to 13% of San Antonio’s FGs thus far. Replacing these high-probablity shots have been kick-out threes, which the perimeter Hornets have consistently contested. Bodes well for some sweeping and showdown to reveal the true MVP.
Now that the Raps’ pathetic fall has commenced, I’m looking for a new team to hitch my ever so important allegiances to. Heres my breakdown: Boston doesn’t need any more bandwagon fans, cheering for San Antonio or Detroit would be like cheering for your friend’s deceased Third Uncle, cheering for Orlando would be blasphemous, polygamy infuriates me so Utah is out, the Lakers feature a rapist, and King James is too arrogant and probably wouldn’t remember me when he conquers the globe so I’m going with the New Orleans Hornets. Not only does their star share a similar nickname with my beloved Raps (which I’m curious to know who owned first) but they also have the most potential to launch JO, Artest-Beer Guy, Turtle II. If Dirk Nowitzki hadn’t grown accustomed to Josh Howard’s stoned gropes, it might have kicked off last round. If they play Ronny Turiaf next round, it is a damn near certainty West or Chandler will get into it with him. Plus its incredibly easy to cheer against the Spurs, which I have decided may be the most hated winning team of all time. Seriously name another.
Besides their ability to horrify Stern with their violent potential, they also have 4 guys on their team that are incredibly unique players. To start with the least important, Julian Wright may be the longest human being I’ve ever seen. David West is unbelievably strong and is able to bang down low AND drain the mid-range Js with indredible consitentcy. Last nite, his diverse arsenal was on full display as he banged down low in the first half and was shooting Js in the 2nd. T-Chands is one of the most intense players I’ve seen play and his offensive rebounding abilities are tops in the Association. But none of these guys compare to the genious that is CP3. In the 4th quarter last nite, CP3 decided it was time to end the fucking geriatric Spurs run and took it to the rim at will. Though he didn’t hit every layup, which would have sent the crowd into a tizzy, he consitently drew contact. He made it look easy.
Though the Hornets got some special young talent leading them, I do have some concerns. They sometimes take bad shots early in the shot clock and make reckless passes in search of the highlight reel. Despite their flaws, these boys want it. Bad. After Bowen made the mistake of bumping into CP3, he made him look foolish the next time down the floor with some creative dribbling. The Hornets are not intimidated by the Spurs’ history. This series is going to be great.
Watch these two douches discuss the necessity of the “pimp-slap with a back hand” in Dirk’s repertoire. Was this commentary subbed in from the 1960s? How the hell can ABC allow their anchors to prescribe the “back hand” on national television?
Also, this is so contradictary to the preceding paragraph but whatever, I thought David West was some kind of fury ball but he appears to be caressing Dirk’s cheek, possibly to compare Serbian to German. Dirk doesn’t even flinch either like he has grown accustomed to Josh Howard’s hazy groping.