Unlike Crosby, Malkin will only pose with at least two layers covering his torso
In honor of the US Open, I give you a golf analogy that barely encompasses the Pittsburgh Penguins’ current situation, since Malkin cannot answer countless question about his counterpart due to his inability to speak English. But according to the latest news, it appears Malkin wishes to continue not answering questions concerning the life of his teammate, Sidney Crosby.
The Globe and Mail has just published an article claiming Malkin expects a contract extension to be hammered out soon after the beginning of the upcoming July 1st signing period. Even more shocking, to moronic NHL analysts anyways, I’m somewhat indifferent, is the dough Malkin will be seeking. Unlike previous alarming reports that assumed Malkin would demand a long term contract paying 9-10 million per year, Malkin has milder expectations. Geno will not be seeking Ovechkin type cash from the Pens and claims not be looking for anything greater than Crosby’s recent contract, which pays the Kid less than 9 mill/year. It seems the quiet Russian is happy in Pittsburgh and wishes to atone for his Stanley Cup regression, which was largely contrived by the Canadian media anyways but whatever. Sounds like a loyal dude.
However, all of these polite assertions mean nothing if some NHL GM pulls a Kevin Lowe come July 1. If someone feels Malkin is worth simoltaneously dishing out 10 million/year AND giving up the draft picks necessary to poach, then I doubt Malkin will turn it down. I don’t know who has the cap space to do such a thing, but the ideal situation for Malkin would be a small market team with less media coverage then the Pens. He probably feels pretty bitter about the hypocritical villification he received in the Finals and would pounce at the chance to leave it behind. On the other hand he does appear content to be the Pippen to Crosby’s Jordan* so who knows. All I know is the modest aw-shucking is bullshit. The market will reveal the truth.
But if Malkins anything like me he will probably be willing to take a significant paycut in order to avoid speaking publicly. Go anywhere else, there will be increased public speaking expectations since he would more than likely be the top dog. Stay in Pittsburgh and the Canadian media will continue to blow their wad on the lifeless pap Crosby consistently produces. Though to me, lifeless Russian responses would be a welcome change of pace from the shit that spews from beneath Crosby’s pube stache.
Updatefrom seconds ago, since I have no logical way of extending this post without using boldness: What the shit? I just read an article detailing the Penguins’ true priority this offseason, signing Marian Hossa, who is expecting no less than 8 million per season. Is this competitively possible? Blowing the cap on three dudes with max dollars? Didn’t that ruin many managerial careers in Tampa? This raises some new questions.
First of all, is Geno Malkin delusional or simply naive? He claims to expect a done deal “soon” after July 1st. Is he talking about the Penguins because according to this new development (for me anyway) they seem kind of disinterested in him. What are his expectations based upon? His willingness to play in Pittsburgh…because at this moment, that seems to mean little to Pittsburgh management. But why? I know, because Crosby is a manipulative twerp. After discovering the reasonable nature of Crosby’s contract, for the supposed Savior of the Sport anyways, there must have been some sort of clause worth the paycut.
People who pose topless should not be trusted to make personnel decisions
WARNING: CONSPIRACY TIME!!! Does Crosby have a say in Pittsburgh personnel moves? DOES HE? He so does, doesn’t he random figure I am directing these questions at. Think about it people, Hossa poses no threat to Crosby’s longterm reign of terror** and his involvement ensures Crosby’s point crown for the duration of Hossa’s contract. If Malkin stays he certainly won’t have the luxury of an All-Star scorer on his wing. Fucking Crosby. I hope Malkin haunts you for years to come, ya traiterous, hairless bastard.
*Sports analogies are awesome and infinetely less controversial than the biblical. I thought better of labelling Crosby Judas
**NOT an alarmist description. Guy spit on autograph seeking, Timbit enthusiasts***
****According to my buddy