Mike Shanahan hates the Modern Family

 According to ESPN, the terrorist organization that is the Denver Broncos have signed Michael Pittman because Travis Henry has not reported to “optional” workouts. Has there ever been a more meaningless NFL transaction that has been this blatant in its disgust for the modern family? I say almost certainly no.

While Shanahan has been raising a “traditional” family, Mr. Henry has revolutionized the Catholic family (no actual proof of Henry’s catholicism. Just creating some decent justificache) Instead of pro-creating a large amount of children with one woman, Henry has instead chosen to pro-create a large amount of children with MANY women. Brilliant.

Come to think of it, Henry may be in the midst of a melding of old school Mormonism and Catholicism. Or just may be participating in old school Mormonism. My understanding of popular religion is underdeveloped at best and completely contrived at worst. Just like this blog post.

*After actually reading the story that corresponded with the ESPN headline, it turns out Henry has an injured hamstring. The financial responsibility of 18 people is a large burden.

**”Travis Henry children” has just revealed Henry is expecting his tenth child this November. I heard the tenth is the easiest.


Filed under Denver Broncos, NFL, Travis Henry

7 responses to “Mike Shanahan hates the Modern Family

  1. oh my god

    This is kinda scary how far of from the truth you are.

  2. jays08

    enlighten me

  3. nothingfancy1

    LOL! You’d think after the first 7, Henry would have figured out how to prevent these things. Then again, no one said he’s bright. Thanks for the fun read!

  4. jays08

    thanks for reading. yes, i too believe 7 illegitmate children to be acceptable before discovering contraception.

  5. nothingfancy1

    Guess I should have noted “insert sarcasm here” when I posted. LOL

  6. jays08

    i’m still sincere. me and travis henry share a steep learning curve.

  7. nothingfancy1

    I’m digging your humor, man!

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