Fistpump. Beej!!, Doc, and Marcum all contributed tonite, which could be the last time we see that until Playoffs. Ya Playoffs.
The Sportsnet keeps fucking me over with infuriating consistency. Whenver I’m pumped to watch some Jays’ ball, some imcompetent Sportsnet producer feels the need to deny me what I need. Today, a few rain delays caused the lazy, wasteful assholes running the shittiest Sports network in Canada to abandon any further broadcasting. In the place of the Jays: Darts! While darts can be entertaining in the right situation (weekday afternoons or drunken boredom, or a combo) due to the brilliant announcers (One Hundred and Eigggghttty!! Words don’t do it justice. The cigarette laced growls are symphonic), Sunday afternoons were invented for some ball. What made this shit even worse was the fact Sportsnet could have shown us some Jays’ action but were too fuckin lazy to broadcast it nationwide. Instead they instructed us to tune into Sportsnet East and for some fucked reason I only get Ontario, Pacific, and West. Brutal.
At least the Jays took the series though and continued their streak of clutchness by knocking in all of their runs in two outs situations. The Lyle entered the game to little expectations and defied everyone who lost faith by hitting a three run jack in the 5th. Nice. The others were knocked in by Shannon and Rod, the discarded vets of old, who could probably be mistaken for a nice suburban pair to the uneducated.
Otherness Dedicated to the shitty Philly weather, whose brutal timing forced Gibbs to waste the arms of our two aces, Marcum and Doc. I have no idea what this will mean for the future rotation. Whose going on Tuesday now? Please do not subject us to more Purcey. Give Brett Cecil a shot. Or Ricky Romero. Or the mysterious Cuban guy.
Beej!! once again made the 9th interesting for casual fans and horrifying for diehard Jays’ supporters by allowing a solo jack to Pat Burrell. One spotless 9th Beej!! or I will so stop referring to you with exclamation points. Aaah, thatll never happen. No one can talk about the Beej!! without yelling.
For the second time this week (or more, I’m too lazy to research this assertion) the Jays were outhit but still managed to win due to their collective clutchness. The Phillies outhit the Jays 13-6. How awesome is that? I like being able to question the manhood of other teams. Its pretty foreign. Even sweeter was the fact that greasy fuck Werth was one of the castrated by Jays’ pitching.