The Cycle of Litsch

O’Doyle Rules!!

Last nite the Jays’ took down the Twins’ 5-3 in Minneapolis’ HHH. The effort was surprisingly well-rounded as 7 Jays’ had hits and 5 players had RBIs. Impressive yet they still faltered in familiar situations as the first inning saw two Jays’ (Rolen!!?? and Rios) fail to knock in Aaron Hill, who was chilling on third while Peavy had a vicious inner conflict as to whether he should call some Home-Stealing. He did not and Hill was stranded. The Jays’ also allowed two opputunities to pass by later in the game when they failed in situations with men on 2nd and 3rd and later with the bases full (which saw Rolen!!?? failing again though he more than made up for it with some amazing defense, especially on the final out. Him and Beej!! enjoyed a keg in celebration) Overall awesome to finally see some vivacious bats help out a pitcher in need.

Though run support helps, nothing is better for a pitcher’s confidence than following Jesse Litsch in the rotation. While that seems mildly insulting, consider this; Jesse Litsch is a catalyst. Well, at least 80% of the time. 4 out of 5 times. Damnit, I am so grasping. Anyways, in the game following a Jesse Litsch decision, the same result has occurred 4 out of 5 times. So math time. Because of the Litsch math, there is an 80% chance that the Jays’ will win tonite. Add the fact that the Doc is playing on his goddamn birthday no less, and I say there is a 150% chance the Jays’ will emerge victorious this evening. Ye gorilla math. Ye Worm. Ye Rounders.

Otherness, in honor of the subpar Dennys Reyes, who besides being pro-Jay, supplements his income with a healthy career as a Latin character actor.

ArrrrMan-DOOO made his Jays’ debut by allowing a FIRST-PITCH JACK!! And oddly enough, I wasn’t even mad. I was having too good a time pronouncing his name. Doing so in the presumed voice of Dennys Reyes worked best. It also looks like Mr. Benitez has lost significant weight. Compared to pictures of Fat ArrrrMan-Dooo anyways.

Also strange was Gibbons handling of pitchers who gave up extra base hits on their first pitch. Jesse Carlson – pulled immediately. ArrrrMan-DOOO – allowed to face two more batters. Whats up Gibbs? Have some faith.

Our, or at least my, worst fears were realized when Jamie Campbell all but established collective farms in Minnesota. Alright he did nothing of the sort but did display his love of free baseball, which will be available when the new Twins’ stadium opens in 2010. Free Baseball? Its a goddamn oxymoron. Ok maybe not, but its at least unAmerican.

After finding Litsch’s record to be unreasonable considering his ERA (4.24) and OPP Avg. (.272), I had to see whether or not his run support is exbortitant. It really isn’t but I found the majority of the Jays’ starters get next to nothing. Shocking, yes? Of 102 pitchers who have completed 40 innings, Marcum is 80th with 3.65 runs/game, Halladay is 95th with 3.14, and McGowan is 98th with 2.72. Fucking BRUUUTAL.

Other fucked stats; after recognizing zero Twins’ starters (except for the immortal Boof Bonser), I had to discover their deal. Well, turns out they’re rabid pussies. They lead the MLB in walks allowed (only 94) and are last in in Strikeouts.

Other fucked stat; Cliff Lee leads the MLB in K/BB ratio with an 11.  Closest dude; 5.6!!!

Carlos Gomez is frightening. He reminds me of Adam Jones, though you should know I’ve seen Adam Jones play 3 times, which is horrifying considering I am now comparing others to him. I would much prefer Eric Bedard.

The Yahoo Box Score is garbage. Both star performers are featured in their former team’s caps. Really Yahoo? Pictures are that hard to come by?







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Filed under Aaron Hill, Adam Jones, B.J. Ryan, Baseball, Major League Baseball, Matty Stairs, Scott Rolen, Toronto Blue Jays

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