let me tell ya, im gettin excited for the upcoming draft. after receiving the savior that is Adrian Peterson last year, i feel optimism unprecedented in the post-Moss era. after riddin ourselves of the ignorant and lazy Troy ‘the bust’ Williamson (grandmother’s funeral, u got to know Childress better than that. also how does blazin speed not result in NFL success? like ud think hed get open on a deep route at LEAST every 3 games) and signing the intriguing Bernard berrian, the vikes are supposedly looking at a DE or another WR in the first round. these are the potential draftees:
Derrick Harvey (DE-Florida) popular choice among the draft pundits to be taken by the Vikes, guy supposedly has top-10 talent, which once again raises the ever popular character question that is essential to the Vikes future: will this man ever participate in oral sex in front of teammates and strippers on a Minnesota lake? shoulda been on the wonderlic. after his pro-day, which according to the immortal Mike Mayock was off-the-charts, we may not have the chance to get em.
Calais Campbell (DE-Miami) this dude came out of nowhere and was recently added by former bouncer Mel Kiper to his ever-important draft board. i gotta sayNO FUCKIN WAY!! though this dude is 6’8 290, he is a physical clone to one Bryant McKinnie (also a U alum), aka the most outgoing person on the Love Boat, which was a FLOATING SEX PARTY. cant take any chances of a repeat. also, the Love Boat seems kind of inevitable when u take guys from the SEC or ACC or anywhere other than the Big 10 and throw them into the middle of Fargo. while im no expert on the nightlife of the twin cities i gotta assume its subpar. so after months of hockey highlights and incoherent accents, these guys musta snapped and said “screw it, its time to escape this freezin hell and recreate south beach”. after months of romanticizing the filthiness of it, they went a lil overboard – no harm done and years of Vikes jokes. win-win in my book.
Personally, if i were the Vikes GM if DeSean Jackson fell to us at 17, i would pounce. if im picturing his game correctly he could turn into the next steve smith or wes welker. while the first round choice is always exciting it pales in comparision to what could be brewin in the 2nd round. WIll ol CHildress admit defeat and rid the Vikes of Tavaris is the big question surrounding the 2nd round because both Chad Henne and Brian Brohm could be available at #47. while Henne is decent, the chance of poaching Brohm has got me fuckin giddy. this guy was a sure fire top 10 pick last year and we could steal him at #47!! besides his obvious talents, whats got me jacked is the certainty of the Moss-factor. Brohm would be absolutely furious at the rest of the league for passin on him and would work his ass off to inflict misery. absolute ideal scenario right there, so recap.
1st Round – Desean Jackson or Derrick Harvey
2nd Round – BRIAN BROHM or Calais Campbell (some have him this low; i have no idea what Kiper is trying to prove) or Lawrence Jackson if DeSean picked in 1st