considering the goonish behavior of dryden’s golden son lately, i began thinkin what may have caused such a deviation from the pious values inherent in everyone born in the ol’ NWO (except kenora). now we may have to exchange these pious values for an unusually high inclination for alcohol but they are undoubtedly there. so what has sent Big P on violent tangents this past year? the guy has escalated to including his feet in on-ice muggings, leading some to deem him the “chuck norris of the ice” (actually scratch that embarassment, chuck norris dominates all domains. there is no chuck norris of anything, only chuck norris)
though i think the whole skate stomping incidents of this year have been vastly overpunished, they are undoubtedly the product of disturbed people (i cant believe big p and chris simon will be forever linked). if the richard zednik incident taught us anything, besides the absolute necessity of neckguards, it is that skates are most dangerous when moving quickly across one’s body , not when stomped. to put the absurdity of these suspensions into perspective, albert haynesworth was only suspended 5 games for STOMPING ON A DUDE’S FACE.
anyways back to the chris pronger thing. pronger has had a diverse career path, with many bizarre incidents that make the random vicousness of this season puzzlin. for instance in the mid-90s, big p was boozin hard in st.lue. during this period, it would not have been a stretch to see a half-drunk pronger attempt a lil amp-u-taish. a couple years back, after the oiler’s improbable run to the cup, big p demanded a trade out of edmonton, for reasons believed to be the prevelance of horny reporters. if there was ever a time for big p to begin guilltenin men, it was the beginnin of last year. the guy was undoubtedly in matrimonal hell with a rightfully bitter wife but nothing, no artestian incidents. so what is big p’s deal? seriously.