You mean it works for an accused sex offender!?! Spectacular, Vitamin Water!!* Or powerful enough, ah fuck it.
Today I was browsing through the newest Sports Illustrated, you know, the one declaring 6 Time Olympic Gold Medalist Michael Phelps “On the Verge”, and was lucky enough to happen upon a bizarre two-page ad from Glaceau Vitamin Water featuring [...]
Entries from July 2008
July 29, 2008
Glaceau’s Olympic Ad Policy: Hide the Ink
July 25, 2008
Cardigans, Indie Tees, and…College Football?
While watching some Jays’ baseball this afternoon, I witnessed two radically diverse sects of American Culture collide in one 30-second spot. Turns out Christian Lander, the painfully self-deprecating defender of Hipster taste*, is the new pitchman for NCAA Football 2009. Shrewd, EA, shrewd.
While I’d usually describe hiring a pitchman who’s unknown to 99% of the [...]
July 22, 2008
This is Not a Goodbye
Goodbye Good Sir
Today, it was revealed that Primoz Brezec will not be continuing his NBA career*. Roma has poached the 7-foot Slovenian from the Raptors. Damn you Brian Colangelo. Despite your all-league style, all-league offseason deals, and phenomenal tie-knots, your lack of appreciation for the Primoz is truly disappointing. He was the best 12th man our great country [...]
July 20, 2008
Condom Depot Steals the “Biggest Night in MMA History”
Last night, both the UFC and Affliction battled it out for MMA supremacy on Spike and PPV, respectively. Being the casual-est of fans, I felt no need to doll out the 50 bones for a glimpse of the mythical Fedor (this video proves my decision to be quite retarded)
Whatever, I enjoyed the majority of the [...]
July 19, 2008
How to Lose Free Agents and Alienate Veterans
Step 1: Honor a child with your captaincy!!!
Straight from the WWL: Blackhawks name Toews Captain. You got to be shitting me.
When in the hell did this practice become an option? I assume the vast majority of NHL players grew up in the same leadership environment as I did; when it comes to choosing the C, the options begin and [...]
July 18, 2008
Raptors’ Related Thoughts on the James Posey Deal
First of all, the New Orleans Hornets are supposedly now the favorites to win the 2009 NBA Championship. To justify this certain people have turned to voodoo math, making the point that the last two teams with James Posey as their 4th best player have won the Title*. But this argument is flawed**. Posey is the Hornets’ 5th Best player***. By the smallest [...]
July 15, 2008
Rick Reilly is tired of these Mother F****** Atheists in his Mother F****** Country
“It’s a bad night to be an atheist” – Rick Reilly, July 14, 2008
This particular nugget of arrogance came from the beacon of sports journalism himself after the ESPN announcing team exhausted all reliable descriptions of amazement while Hamilton was punishing the rawhide, leaving the crew to spit Hyperbole like a prompter-less (and retarded) politician.
Yes Rick, all atheists have [...]
July 8, 2008
ESPN: Gonzalez saves man’s life in restaurant
After waiter inexplicably asks: Gonzalez, why don’t you fucking revive someone out there?
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3477130
July 7, 2008
ESPN hates Federer
Although Nadal’s victory made the headline more prophetic than I once believed, the quickness with which they discredited the greatest player in the Tennis game is bizarre. During the first rain delay of today’s Mens Final, when Nadal was 1 Game away from winning the Championship in 3 sets, the brain-trust at the WWL felt it wise to hitch their buggy [...]
July 6, 2008
Lost Complacency
Last nite, as I was awaiting the results of the Rampage-Forrest Light Heavyweight Championship bout, I realized I had no horse in the race. Both fighters are charismatic, likable, and respectful to the point that I would’ve enjoyed seeing either one of them taking home the belt. If I had access to PPV (fucking ancient residence), I [...]
